The Most Miserable, Yet Wonderful, Time of the Year

For awhile now, I've been cursed with a temporary case of writer's block. Everything I typed was pointless and utter crap. I had nothing new to say I suppose and the last thing anyone wanted to hear about was pumpkin spice lattes, Halloween costumes, or that Hobby Lobby already has their Christmas stuff up and ready to go. *sigh* It's truly the most wonderful time of the year. And at the same time, it's the most miserable time of the year. But I will let you in on a little secret - it's really not that bad.

This is the time of year law students dread. We dread the looming finals, the deadline for papers, the hours upon hours of study time, outlining, memorizing, and to top it all off, juggling all that with holiday time with the family. By all intensive purposes, we are (or should be) miserable. And our appearance shows it.

Sweatpants become an almost daily occurrence. Our greasy hair gets a shot of dry shampoo (if we're lucky) and a messy bun emerges. Makeup make or may not be worn. Slip on shoes become our best friends. Our study carrels overflow with paper and books and outlines. Our free WestlawNext highlighters run dry. Everywhere you look, there are at least three people drinking coffee. Lots of coffee. Sweatshirts, scarves, shawls, blankets, anything that can double as a pillow are brought to class and the carrels. We seriously consider bringing actual pillows. If we're not at our carrels, we've nested at our desk at home or Starbucks or Java Break. Our workout routines either become non-existent or intensify with the stress level. And we will eat anything that's put in front of us because chances are, we forgot to eat two meals ago. Or we continuously snack, hence the necessary workouts.

Now, keeping that image in mind, I absolutely LOVE this time of year. For me, there is nothing better than having things to do. It means more "to do" lists. It means I constantly need to be somewhere, doing something, listening to someone, writing, reading - working.  Rushing all over campus. Justifying a coffee shop trip for my Digital Works readings between classes. Wearing heels that click when I trot on the tile. Throwing on the traffic court robes and making out like I'm a real judge. Practically running out of class to get to work on time. I suppose it makes me feel important, to constantly need to be somewhere.

And all that work means I can justify sitting here, listening to Jump (For My Love) by the Pointer Sisters, and write a blog for you, my readers. And after this, I'm hitting the treadmill to complete what I'm told is a REALLY less intense version of some sort of military workout. Which means I won't be running (walking/jogging) 3 miles in under a half hour and no push-ups. And after all that, however long all that may be, I'm going to sit at my desk and work on my tax outline. Or memorize evidence rules.

But the point is, while we law students complain and are completely miserable at this time of year, if you think about it - I think we actually kind of like it. It's a rush that is unlike any other.  And the relief after turning in that Open Memo (1Ls), completing that final Trial Ad trial, or just finishing an outline you thought would never get done - that's actually pretty gratifying. Or maybe it's just me. Which is entirely possible.

Power and Light

So this weekend I went out with the girls to P&L (Power and Light) in Kansas City. For those of you unfamiliar with this place, it is basically the bar/club hub in KC, MO. At least, as far as I know. But I had never been before, so it was decided that I needed to see what all the fuss was about. And to be honest...I wasn't all that impressed.

Mostly, I suppose, because I had never really experienced the whole "big city club scene" before. So this girl from small town western Kansas learned a few things about how these clubs operate. And you'd think I would say they run on lowered inhibitions and overpriced drinks, but I think it runs on something else entirely. I'd say the whole scheme runs on vague lies we tell others - and ourselves. Honest.

So here's a few reasons I feel that way (based on my exchanges at P&L):

1) Nobody tells the truth. I wasn't prepared for this one. When meeting new people, I find the simple questions like, "What's your name?", "Where are you from?", and "What do you do?" to be the three basic staples of base line getting-to-know-you. I don't expect people to lie, because I don't lie about these things. How naive that must sound. But after the first few introductions, I started questioning the truthfulness of the respondent's answers. (That soundly so lawyer-like I smiled. :) )

Most people were quick on answering their names, but never last names. My inner Meg Ryan from "You've Got Mail" was like, "Don't they know you're supposed to have a last name?" And granted, the music was loud and I'm never going to see those people again, so why bother with formalities, eh? But still, I'm pretty sure I looked like this:

http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd61/Nerd-Inc/frenchkiss_really.gif

And I met people from all over the U.S. who somehow decided KC was the place to be. The craziest answer I got was from a guy from "Minnesota" even though he didn't have a northern accent and he was in town for the barbeque after doing a bike ride for something. Could be true, but the more he talked, the more I was not buying it.

But the third question...ohhoh...getting an answer to that one was like pulling teeth. The best response I got was "Why does it matter what I do?" which I interpreted as, "I don't do anything and probably still live in my parent's basement, so I'm going to avoid answering this question at all costs by making you feel bad for asking it."Disappointment.

http://s222.photobucket.com/user/Nerd-Inc/media/yep.gif.html?sort=3&o=0

2) Because nobody is really telling the truth, they think you are lying too. Do you know how many guys questioned the fact that our group of girls were, in fact, attending law school? All of them. No one believed Kate was from Chicago. Or that Angela served in the military. No one believed that I spoke German (apparently it sounded like gibberish). They didn't buy it. Any of it, even though it was all 100% truth. Apparently, you're supposed to not tell the truth (the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God) in these places. And no matter what, you end up just being like:

http://s222.photobucket.com/user/Nerd-Inc/media/eminem-apathy1.gif.html?sort=3&o=0

3) Nobody really dresses for themselves. This one is obvious enough, but most people at P&L (men and women) were clothed for other people. I wore something nice, but something I was comfortable in. The point is to get noticed. But I felt like (and I could be wrong about this) if I saw these people on the street, I wouldn't recognize them. So therefore, I didn't trust my instincts about them.

4) Playing "dumb" is all part of the game. This is not my strong suit. I happen to belong to a group of strong, intelligent, wonderful women who are not going to apologize for being that way. And I have been told repeatedly that I need to play dumb when flirting because I will 'never get a man' if I don't. But I will not have that; I will not have it. Therefore, I will not lie about being nerdy or caring about my education and I will let you know that you are in Missouri when you think you are in Kansas and if that upsets you (it really shouldn't) - I'm just here to dance. Also, the sheer amount of laughing at unfunny things in those places is very disturbing.

http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd61/Nerd-Inc/as-if.gif

My takeaway from all this is this: I had a pretty good time with friends and experienced something new - which is always a good thing I think. But it's not my bag. I'll take a jazz club, a country bar where real country music is played and cowboy boots are worn un-ironically, or a nice pub type atmosphere where casual clothing is readily accepted over P&L any day. Biergartens and Diskotheks are also much loved - obviously. 

Subway Characters

So last night while doing laundry, Lady Gaga's song "Judas" shuffled through. And I'm not particularly fond of the song per se, but I love listening to it because it brings up memories from my summer in Germany. Seriously, Germans have an obsession with Lady Gaga. But that's not what I want to talk about, primarily anyways.

People on the Subways in Germany are...great. Their trains are not like in London, Boston, or Chicago (and I have yet to visit New York, so I can't comment on theirs, but I gather the experience is not that great). The trains in Germany carry their people - all their people in one way or another. But there are some particular characters I met on their glorious transportation system - and here they are in no particular order.

1. The two Lady Gaga fans who (while listening to their iPods) sang and danced  to "Judas" for us, without any prompt, I might add. They were actually pretty good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wagn8Wrmzuc

2. The shaky beggar with crazy eyes that hopped on the train EVERY time we tried to leave the Alexanderplatz station. I don't think he ever filled up that crumpled paper Coke cup in a day.

3. A little old German lady who wore stockings and orthopedic shoes who always had an opinion on where we should go visit next. It usually involved a museum of some sort.

4. A tourist who did not (or could not) speak German. And what's weird is, after being in Germany for awhile, we could pick them out and silently judge them because we sorta felt like natives. Psht. Stupid tourists.

5. A school of little German school children wearing matching scarves on a visit to the school. They were adorable until we all realized that they spoke German better than we did. And they were 7 years old.

6. A middle-aged couple on their way to any one of the many "Fests" around the country. One particular couple went to a Polka Fest  - and they were excited about it.

7. A guy who I think just sat there and read the newspaper all day on the train. Hey - that's not a bad retirement plan.

8. A guy in a business suit who refused to sit down (maybe he thought his pants would wrinkle) with a super serious look on his face. He was probably a lawyer.

9. A group of three or four guys getting their drink on with some regional brew. Which could also be seen on the sidewalk. Note: drinking in public is commonplace.

10.  Instrumentalists that ruined whatever you had planned on listening to because their trumpets were so f***ing LOUD.

Bonus: There were also a bunch of American students pretending to "be German," even though we fooled nobody. But we did get a whole bus to sing along to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" after the first game of the Women's World Cup. People broke out into song a lot now that I think about it...

BA Things I've Gleaned from Professors Over the Years

So the other day, a girl in my class heard me talking about my BA class, and was like, "What does BA mean?" (It really means Business Associations, but we started joking about how our professor was teaching us to be badass lawyers.) And I started thinking, you know...I have learned some pretty badass things from my professors over the years, so here's a short list:

1. Mystery Science Theater 3000 should be watched while editing news articles. And any other time for that matter.

2. Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd, and Warren Zevon never get old. Ever.

3. Reciting memorized passages from Milton during class lectures is pretty badass. Same with Shakespeare.

4. Giant trucker mugs filled with coffee (that were likely spiked with whiskey) is the perfect drink for teaching students sentential logic. Also using sentences like, "Professor X drinks malt liquor, but not Coors light." is very effective.

5. Crossword puzzle races are not for the faint-hearted. And they can be completed in under 10 minutes.

6. German is sometimes easier to learn after a few beers. This is still the case.

7. Even if you're the director, and supposedly like all types of music - it's ok to say you hate bagpipes.

8. No matter how you think Cinderella's stepmother is supposed to look like...your director sees her very differently, and you will not look the least bit attractive on stage. Deal with it.

9. Professors have "rivalries" and may or may not use outlandish hypotheticals involving magic  mushrooms and murder to outdo one another.

10.  Anything and everything considered "obscene" can be discussed in an academic setting.

Ok, so these may not be "badass," but they kind of are. Also, I might mention this comes from years in the English, Theater, Music, Modern Languages, Philosophy, and Law departments. So...I've got the monopoly on quirky-awesome, badass professors. :)

You Can't Copy Real

So I've got about an hour until my next class, and I'm completely read up for my classes this week - so I'm going to have a bit of a chat with myself about computer programs. This stems from an article I had to read for my Digital Works class regarding the copyright issues with computer programs that generate music, novels, etc.

First of all, I had no idea that they had computer programs that could do these things. I mean, we have come a long way with technology, but we've apparently got computer programs that can create music and books for our entertainment, without an...well...an author. Granted, you have the programmers and users, etc, but let's be honest - I don't buy it.

Now the copyright issues aside, I just don't trust it. Improvisation in acting and music (I'll admit) is somewhat formulaic. But it is improvised! On the spot! Hypothetically, if you tried to recreate the exact same skit or record the exact same improve jazz solo - it won't happen. There will be variations. That's why people see things live. In person. There is human error. There is human greatness. But  that creativity cannot be duplicated in a few lines of code. I'll bet that a computer can generate the same "random" song again after awhile. Mostly because the "random factor" is just another formula, and in infinite combinations, can still be repeated.

And I suppose the digital novel thing bothers me most. You can read every Ernest Hemingway novel, short story, etc. and create a formula to generate a Hemingway-like novel - but it isn't Hemingway. You can use his concise sentences. You can certainly create the quintessential Hemingway Hero (the man of all men). You can cuss all you want. But I happen to know for a fact, that it cannot be recreated. Mostly because writers, musicians, sports players, ballerinas, etc. get better with practice. They improve, mature, things happen in their life that inspire and drive their craft...you get the picture. So not matter what you put in that formula, you can't account for the mistakes, the human error, the life experiences, the improvement or deterioration of an author's writing, composing skills, etc. Not knowing enough about computers, maybe computers can do that. But in what way? What if my characterization improves over time but my description of setting plateaus? What if I generate a passion for composing all my songs in a completely different key? Can you account for all the factors?

So I don't have all the answers to the legal aspect of this stuff, but I'm skeptical of a computer generated novel. I don't trust it. To me, it's not real.

Real is a back alley jazz club in Berlin. Real is hunting lions in Africa with your wife. Real is conversations with friends the week before they die. Real is stomach growls in a quiet library. Real is sweaty fingers before performing on stage. Real is singing Aretha during a car accident. Real is letting go. Real is making mistakes. You can't copy real.

Show me

So, lately I've been re-reading old favorites - or at least in part. Fall is so reminiscent and it rubs off on me. But I found myself reading Forever Overheard. If you Google it, you might discover that this is a chapter (of sorts) from David Foster Wallace's Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. It is my favorite example of...showing. Showing is my favorite. It's better than telling. Telling is boring and absent original thought. Showing is best.

I have no idea if I've said this before - I probably have, but it bears repeating. When you write, show me the story. Take Forever Overheard for instance. I could easily tell you that the boy in the story is thirteen years old, he went to the public pool on his birthday and the story is all about how he jumped off the high dive. It seems boring, perhaps, to say it this way, and that is because it is. It's not a freak occurrence, jumping off the high dive for the first time. It's scary and nerve-racking, and if I wrote a story about it and actually said, "It was scary and nerve-racking the first time I jumped off the high dive." you might as well take away my writing privileges.

DFW doesn't say thing like that. He describes the children playing in the pool, the swimsuits of the people in line to jump, the heavy weight of standing on the rungs, and the smell of hot dogs and sugary drinks. It's good enough to take you back to a memory and feel and see and smell that first dive feeling. It shows you the story. If only more stories were like that.

I feel like society doesn't want to be shown - not in this way at least. It wants instant gratification in knowing that something is "beautiful" and "scary" and "sad." We want to define everything for our purposes and attach something so definition-less with a single word. We want things to be simple, but they aren't. We ask for a shallow understanding. But we (or maybe just I) crave a deeper one. A raw, personal, stomach wrenching understanding.

I strive to show. To edit out the telling. To put down the book that says "She looked sad." or "The castle on the hill was hauntingly beautiful." That's not showing, it's telling. Give me authors who show me something - anything new or old or completely re-envisioned. But show me.

Remembering Band

So last night I was up a bit later than usual and my music major friends starting posting things involving bass clefs and music theory and I got a bit nostalgic. This, along with a conversation about jazz clubs in Paris with my friend Kate got me thinking about my own musical past.

It's not exactly something I put on my resume or anything, but I bet you didn't know that I play piano and saxophone. Now, I'm not an aficionado, but I can play a few things still. I played saxophone for eight years - seriously, I was two years shy of having my 10,000 hours in. And actually, I started out playing the violin, which I hated.

Now what does this have to do with anything? Well, I had the sudden realization last night that I haven't picked up a saxophone in about three years. At one point in my life, couldn't go a week without it. It just didn't happen. I spent some of the best years of my life working and perfecting and playing and now it's just...gone.

I feel like the muscle memory would come back if I picked up the sax again. It wouldn't have to be any one in particular, but I'm partial to the tenor sax. I mean, I haven't purchased reeds in years! I know that none of this is structured and I'm just expressing these things as they come to me, but I suppose my point is this: I miss it. All of it.

I miss waking up early to walk to the football field early in the morning before classes started so that we could walk to the football field for marching band practice. The sun would be up, blinding us, but we didn't care because we had the music memorized. And there was a vein that popped out on our director's forehead when he saw someone wearing flip flops or the clarinet section was off step and out of line again because they couldn't get their shit together - ever. Our shoes were always soaked because the dew never dried on that field and I kinda miss my neck being sore from the weight of the sax as I carried it.

I miss the upperclassmen hiding my sheet music before class and freaking out when I found it in the baritone case in the back room. I miss being squad leader and having my "freshmen" to mentor, which basically meant I bossed them around. I miss my saxophone that I named Achilles because he was new and awesome with tiger's eye keys. I miss ensemble competitions that started way to early and lasted all day while we slept on wrestling mats until everyone was finished. I miss playing for the football and basketball games. I miss "Rumble on the High Plains" which was composed for our school and we begged to play because it was so much fun.

I miss jazz band and getting solos and improving and messing around in middle school. For goodness sakes, I miss the stupid uniforms we had to wear. I miss the people and the directors and everything.

So maybe I just needed to remember, but when I get some time between everything else that I do - I need to pick it up again.

My First Blog For KU Law

So....this one is kind of like cheating - but whatever. I was offered the privilege to write a blog for my law school. Of course, the blog had to be related to law school or the practice of law, etc. So I wrote this one (and stifled the urge to post in on here first) and now, I want to share it with a wider audience. Yay! So do not be discouraged by the brevity of this post.

http://kuschooloflaw.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/summer-at-small-town-firm-yields-little.html

So click the link above!

Hint: The post is about what I learned and experienced at my internship this summer. Enjoy! :)

First Day Back

What an odd sort of feeling one gets when walking the halls of an old, familiar building. It is almost eerie, the sensation I mean, to go back to a place you once inhabited, and act as if you never left. I suppose a weaker sensation hit me upon my return to Green Hall for my 2L year of law school. It really didn't feel like a new year had started. There was no orientation or "welcome back" ceremony that some places put on. And believe me, I'm not advocating for a week long orientation for law school every year. I did that once. I'm done. Never again.

But I suppose the best way to describe my time so far in law school, is to imagine the myself at an airport. The application process is like buying an airplane ticket. I chose my destination (law degree), and I gave them my credit card information (application info) and I hoped I had enough to purchase the darn thing and that my card wouldn't be denied. So I show up to the airport with all my luggage (books and things), hand them my ticket (necessary forms) and they point me in the general direction of where I'm supposed to go (orientation). Here's where the metaphor really sinks in.

My first year was all that time walking towards the terminal and going through security. I had to jump through hoops and walk through the metal detector and all that jazz just to get to the hallway, leading me to my gate. And I kept walking and walking and then summer came - BAM! I hit that moving sidewalk at a fast pace and next thing I know, the summer is over, the time flew by, and I'm still walking, ever diligent towards that next moving sidewalk which will take me to that final stretch of runway carpet. And the whole time I'm wondering why I chose the flight with the boarding gate at the end of the hallway.

This second year feels not like the first, and not like a new year. It simply feels like I'm still walking. It's like that feeling when you step off that airport moving sidewalk. My pace hasn't changed, but it feels like time has...somehow.

So here's to the new school year and it's unchanged landscape. And to students everywhere - keep walking. :)

Life Without the Internet

For those of you wondering where I've been for the past few days, or rather, for those of you who haven't noticed my disappearance, let me tell you where I've been. I've been "off the grid." Which is a major exaggeration. Basically, I went without internet for a little while. This was not voluntary, mind you. (I had to wait for the internet guy come and hook it up in my apartment.) And I found out a couple things.

First, my inbox almost exploded in that time frame, as did everything else. I returned to a plethora of new emails, Facebook notifications, computer updates...you get the picture. And the whole time I was disconnected, I worried about missing a professor's email, or a friend's update, or not being able to track the textbooks coming my way. It was terrifying, but I decided to cheat and check - just once for a few minutes to make sure nothing important was missed. And I also did this while picking up some laundry. Which brings me to my next point.

I. Got. Stuff. Done. You have no idea.

I started out having nothing to do, which was completely false. I had a ton of stuff to do, like put all my stuff away, reorganize my apartment, go through school papers from last year, dust, clean, sweep, mop, and shop for groceries. Now, if I had the internet up and running, I probably would have procrastinated and watched Supernatural on loop. I got all my textbooks sorted and printed off my schedule. I did laundry and sorted my shoes. The list goes on. If the experience weren't so darn terrifying, I might just call it liberating. Because if nothing else, my apartment looks fabulous.

So all in all, it was a very productive couple of days. And today was filled with checking emails, Facebook, and watching Supernatural. So there's that. :)

My Last Day

For those of you who remember the popular TV show Scrubs, I hope you get the reference in the title. If you have no clue what I'm talking about, let me briefly explain. Every Scrubs episode was entitled "My...whatever" E.g. My First Day, My Unicorn, My Big Brother, etc. And in the first season, the last episode was titled "My Last Day" because it was J.D.'s last day as an intern, and the next day he will be a resident. And the reference fits, because today is my last day as an intern, and tomorrow, I will be a 2L (2nd year law student). And just like J.D., I'm reminiscing on my short (three months) time here.

So what have I learned? Hmmm...as far as the law-related stuff goes - a LOT. However, that is probably boring to the average reader, so here's what you REALLY learn at an any internship.

1. Coffee is king.

This may seem like an unimportant rule, but treat it with respect. Seriously, every office has it's food/drink staples upon which it relies, and I assume, runs. But coffee, my friends, is king. There is always coffee. You do not screw with that EVER. I believe the punishment is a day in hell, which is where you'll be if there is no more coffee in the break room.

2. Free food is the best way to a co-workers heart.

This goes for any office. Sometimes there are specific expectations to this one. For example, this summer, the office is located behind a Daylight Donuts shop. That means donuts are a treat often called for. My last job, it was 1/2 price drinks at Sonic. And even after a year and a half, I still know the employee's drink orders. It may be Starbucks, or McDonalds, or maybe a cute little sandwich shop. You're probably thinking - THAT'S AWESOME! It is. And it is the one, sure-fire thing to make the office happy, no matter what.

3. Assistants can make or break you. Same goes for the court clerks.

They warn you about this in law school, and frankly, this should probably be #1 on the list. If you've just come out of your first or second year in law school, you know nothing. I'm not saying that to be mean, but I heard this from my Civ Pro professor my first year, and I truly believe it. She said, "You are 1Ls. You know nothing." And guess what? You may think because you took a whole class on (and in your mind are an expert on) Trust and Estate Law, but those assistants? They are your best resource, because you've probably never put together a trust before in your life. Same goes for a motion, etc. And even if you have, you probably haven't drafted one the way THIS firm drafts them. So make friends with them. Be nice. Don't pull rank. Shed that ego before you walk in the door, and let the nice people help you get oriented. They will usually be some of your best teachers.

4. But don't do everything.

So now that you know to be nice and courteous to the office assistants, and you are getting the hang of how things run in your workplace, you need to step it up. Meaning - don't be a pushover either. If you need to be researching and drafting, delegate the formatting and editing to the assistants. Dictate and have them write the letter. That's their job, so let them do it, and you can do yours. Don't be that pushover who does everything themselves. You will get nothing done.

5. Follow the dress code.

I'll be honest. The office I worked for this summer was semi-casual. Which was great. I didn't have to wear a suit everyday. Thursdays and Fridays we could wear jeans. Which was nice, except when I decided to wear something extra nice on Friday, even if I just felt like it - it wasn't great. Because when the whole office is wearing jeans, and the client sees you all dressed up nice, odd looks come your way. You can almost hear them thinking, "Why is she dressed up? Why is everyone else casual?" It makes them question things they shouldn't, and besides, the office is a unit, and you need to follow suit. No pun intended.

6. Never underestimate a smile, a thank you sticky note, or a genuine verbal "thank you."

In the adult world (which includes interns apparently), people respond to these things. BIG TIME. They love them. The assistants, your boss, the janitor - I don't care who it is. They love thank you notes. Send them. Even if they are on a sticky note stuck to their computer monitor. Even if you add a little smiley face after a general note. Even if you just have a generally happy disposition - it does wonders to the people around you.

7. Take a genuine interest.

I don't care if you don't have kids. If a co-worker loves to talk about her cat or kid or what they did that weekend - talk to them about it. Because d even if you weren't interested in those things before, you should be Why? Because chances are, you are not only a co-worker, but their friend. I get excited now when friends/co-workers tell me their son or daughter took their first step, said their first word, or let them take the cutest picture last night. They are genuinely excited, and I am genuinely excited for them. Your network of friends is probably broader than you think - be a true friend back.

So that is what I've learned from being an intern. I've held a few of these internship-type things for a few years, and this is what I've gleaned for the most part. And on my last day, I couldn't be happier to have experienced it. :)

We're All Secretly Judging YOU

I'm secretly judging you. No, seriously, I am. I don't even have to talk to you to do it. I can walk past your office and see the crayon drawings and ceramic cats on your shelves to know you are a (grand)parent and cat lover. I can pass you on the street, see you in a monogrammed blue polo and khakis texting on your iPhone, and I know you work at Best Buy and probably bought that phone with your employee discount. You may not have, and maybe you dressed like that to be ironic. I don't know, but I'm going to assume and think that way anyway. And this is what I look for - I've trained myself to hone in on the details.

As a writer, I view details as the most important part, which is why I believe that what you own, or rather, what you buy is an extension of yourself. Your stuff generates an impression on others - whether you want it to or not. I don't think people quite understand this concept, which is why I'm going to attempt to explain it.

Let's imagine I introduced you to my friend Steve. When you see Steve, he is wearing a plain white t-shirt, blue jeans, and no shoes on his feet. He is standing in white space, not a white room, but white space. (Remember this is imaginary).  Now, if this is all you see/know about Steve, how can you create an opinion about him? I mean, maybe if you talked to him you could create an idea in your head that is Steve. But without saying even a simple hello, you can deduce very little about him. Most of us, after all, are not Sherlock Holmes.

Now let's imagine you meet Aaron. He is wearing a tailored, European cut, dark grey, pinstripe suit. He wears turquoise socks to match his tie. He wears caramel-colored leather shoes. He sits in a black  pleather chair, with papers and files stacked in stacks, some of which are slightly askew on and around his desk. There are a few books on a single bookshelf along with a miniature statues of Buddha and Osiris. The shades are closed, and there are no pictures or framed diplomas on the wall. Notice I only described the area and Aaron's clothing. I did not use words like "messy" or "neat". I didn't use any words to describe Aaron or his personality. But what did you deduce from this description?

Here are some possible answers.  Based on the description of Aaron's suit, he probably cares about his appearance. And if he cares about his appearance that much, he probably exercises, pays attention to fashion trends, or spends a lot on his wardrobe. He has a lot of papers on his desk, which could mean he has a desk job, maybe an important job. The stacks of papers and files means he has a lot of work, and he is fairly organized, but not quite OCD enough to fix the askew papers. He also has a few books, which may be all he needs. And the mini statues could be from vacations, which could mean he travels a lot - maybe to really unique places. Or maybe he just went to Orlando. The closed shades could mean it's sunny, or maybe he just likes florescent light. And the lack of decoration on the walls (as well as the fact that I pointed out that something is missing) could mean that he doesn't want to spend a lot of time there. Maybe he doesn't spend a lot of time there. Maybe he just doesn't see decorating his office as important. I could go on.

But see? In six sentences I described a scene with a person, in his work habitat. And all those deductions, plus quite a few more, made an impression on you, and you created an idea of who Aaron is in your mind, and you've never met him. Steve, on the other hand, was a lot harder to deduce, because there was virtually no "stuff" around him from which to glean information.

We all do it. Silently. Secretly. We can't help it. But the reason I point it out, is to remind everyone that the details are important. And sometimes, it's important to put on jeans and flip-flops instead of pajama pants and slippers to go to the grocery store. :)

The Importance of an English Degree

I've heard all the jokes and suffered through all the "What are you going to do with an English Degree?" questions that, said with that presupposing tone, are incredibly stupid. FYI - when you ask one of us that question, we are smart enough to read between the lines and realize that what you're really asking us is: "What kind of job can you get, and does it make any money, and are you REALLY spending thousands of dollars for a degree that is...well...pointless?" Bless your heart.

Now, I realize that I went on to law school, but that didn't become apparent until high school. I've known since I was 10 years old that I wanted to study English. In fact, that English degree is something I'm very proud of - here's why:

1. This isn't an "easy" major. Check out this link below:

http://education.yahoo.net/articles/most_demanding_majors.htm  

On this list of the most demanding majors for college students - Arts & Humanities are #4, just behind #1 Engineering, #2 Physical Sciences, and #3 Biological Sciences. So folks, what English majors' study may be VERY different from math and science, but it is still pretty demanding in terms of time, effort, and difficulty. We don't do labs, but we write 20 page papers. We don't spend an hour on a difficult Matrix theory problem, but we will spend that much time reading, taking notes, and analyzing a particular passage from a research paper.

2. What we learn is different, but not unmarketable.

Most, if not all humanities degrees require a language component. By this, I mean we have to learn a foreign language that we aren't already fluent in.  One of the ideas behind this is: learning another language helps you better understand your own, but employers like it too. In fact, many require it - and with jobs becoming more and more globally based, US students should make an conscious effort to learn multiple languages. 

English majors usually study the development of the English language. We learn Old English, Middle English, etc. PLUS another language like German, French, Spanish, or Mandarin. Then we read and read and read and then write and re-write and edit and keep going until BAM! Suddenly we're catching dangling participles, repeat words, lack of an introductory paragraph sentence, and a plethora of commas and adjectives. We are studying languages, deeper meaning in literature, themes that get to the heart of a societies' moral understanding, and how to engage a reader with nothing but squiggles on a page. So what do you think we can do with that?

I'll tell you. We call it communicating effectively. We can get our thoughts across in a well-worded, educated manner. We can go into advertising, marketing, and communications fields if we wanted to. We can teach all over the world. We can go into other professional fields like law. We can, quite frankly, do almost anything with an English degree. Because while your children are texting/Facebooking something like: "CU LTR i just dont c y people dont say wut they mean i mean you have no idee how RDUE that is!!!!", we still take the time to appreciate how not to seem/look like a monkey just learning to type via text. (Although, if a monkey figured out how to type the above sentence, I would be impressed.) We care about how we appear to others through communication.

And you know who else cares? Employers. They want someone who sounds intelligent. Someone who doesn't need to be told to end all sentences in periods or indent paragraphs for formal letters. And if they have to choose between the guy who can write worth a damn and us...well...they want us.

3. We are creative.

We really are! We are taught logic and analytical skills AND creative writing. We have to have an innovative mind. Our imaginations know no bounds. We pick up on subtleties and details. We are taught to look at issues on a global scale. We can write a paper on any number of topics stemming from a single book. Heck, I once wrote a twelve page paper on a single sonnet. I've also researched Native American Language usage in film on a global scale. So if you think we are unable to write, talk, or research anything other than Shakespeare or Faust - you are WRONG.

4. We are the future of your entertainment delights.

This may be the most important one of all. We are the future Joss Whedons, Steve Moffats, JK Rowlings, Dan Browns, editors at Simon & Schuster, Superbowl commercial makers, librarians, and that wacky middle school English teacher you swore was Warren Zevon incarnated.

That Avengers movie you saw last year and LOVED - well, it had to be written by somebody. And Stan Lee had to create and write the comic books before that. A whole lot of somebodies are writing your favorite TV shows and novels. And not all of them are English majors, but I'm willing to wager a fair few of them are. We can make you sob, chuckle, grin, and scream. And quite frankly, so me an engineering student who can do the same thing in three pages or less. I can make you sad in a six word story: For Sale: Baby Shoes - never worn. (Note, I did not come up with this, but someone else did. They are the infamous, Anonymous.)

So when people ask the inevitable question: "What are you going to do with an English degree?" Just say: I can do anything - just watch me.Then go do something amazing. :)

To be or not to be THAT Person with an e-Reader

So lately I've been considering the possibility of purchasing an e-reader. More specifically - a Kindle Fire HD with all the features. But a moral dilemma has presented itself and I cannot ignore it any longer. In these types of situations, I usually make a list. Yes, I'm that type of person.

So here's the wonderful things about e-readers - they are a portable library. Literally. I have the best works of literature for free, and new releases at my fingertips - at 1/3 of the price no less. Dan Brown's newest conspiracy theory extravaganza? Eight bucks and done, at my house, in my bed, on a Saturday morning. Same book at a bookstore in hardback? $21.99 plus tax and the gas to drive to Wichita - bleck! I can also watch Supernatural marathon-style on Netflix anywhere without taking twenty minutes to setup my laptop at Java Break. And I can play Fruit Ninja, hypothetically stalk my favorite celebrities on Twitter (I say hypothetically because I haven't been on there in ages...might need to update my account actually.), and have Facebook update me that all my friends are getting married, engaged, and having kids.
So lots of wonderful things right? It's like a mini computer or a large iPod and they look great right? Right...

So here's the dilemma. As many of you know, I'm a law student. This means I write a lot and study a lot and occasionally still have those Supernatural marathons on Saturdays. I love books - real books made of paper and ink and smell funky after 20 years on a used store bookshelf. I love those things. I like cracking the spine of a new book and feel the weight of it in my hands. I like writing notes in the margins. I love sticking bookmarks in my favorite spots. I like seeing them on my shelf - like a reminder of a great line, quote, or scene. Kind like hearing a song and a long lost memory pops up. I like not having the battery die or charging my "book" to read it. I like that feeling of falling asleep on my book at 3:00 a.m. in a weird contorted position, knowing that I'm not breaking a $250-300 piece of technology. I like watching Doctor Who on a bigger screen, and I have all the apps I could ever want on my iPod.

And dammit, if it's an author I like, I'd rather pay $20.00 on their book because you know what? It's worth it. Every penny. It provides more entertainment than a two-hour movie. And people pay that price all the time for a good movie - even more if its on Blu-ray. And someday, when I'm a published author or screenwriter or whatever, I hope there is still someone out there who thinks my work is worth more than the price of a Venti coffee at Starbucks. So I think I'll hold off for now.

The Problem with Summer Vaction - Parents Need to Read

So I just finished a great book that everyone should read called Outliers by Michael Gladwell. In this book, Gladwell looks at what makes "outliers" or the super-successful, successful. Think The Beatles, Bill Gates, professional hockey or baseball players. What made them so special? That answer in your head just now - I bet you got it wrong.

We like to believe that people pull themselves up out of nothing. It's our favorite story. A man who comes from nothing, became successful because he worked hard and became a "self-made man." Well...that's not entirely true. The truth is, that those people had a lot of help, a lot of luck, and worked insanely hard to become successful. There were also important factors they couldn't control, like the month and year they were born, how much money their parents made, what kind of primary school education they received, etc. Gladwell goes into more detail, but you can see the point.

For example, Bill Gates was born at the right time in the 1960's to get into the programming gig, his parents happened to be very well off, Gates went to a prestigious high school, and the mothers of that high school bought the school a computer before most people ever knew what one was. Gates also spent an inordinate amount of time programming on that computer and at others in his area. By the time he went off to start his own company (after dropping out of Harvard of course) he had 10,000 hours of time logged on computers for programming, etc. That is about how much time it takes a person to become an expert in anything. So he had a LOT of help, was born in the right three year time period, and his parents were able to fund this rare and expensive (at the time) hobby.

So now that I've got your attention, here's what parents NEED to know. This could make a huge difference in your child's life and future career.

First - Studies show that schools aren't the problem that your child isn't "smart" or "getting a good education." Guess what parents? It's you. Apparently, middle to upper class parents take a real interest in their child's lives. They ask questions at parent-teacher conferences, they encourage their children to talk to authority figures i.e. know that it's ok to ask them questions, even question how they do things. Parents talk to the teachers and even though some teachers don't like it - they ask the dreaded questions like, "Why is my kid doing so badly in your class?" This can help determine solutions to any problems the child might be having. You are not a nagging parent. And the low income-poverty level classes? They back down to authority figures. They don't ask questions. They may not be able to make it to that parent-teacher conference because they have to work. Their child is greatly disadvantaged because they do not learn from their parents to ask questions or take an interest in their own education. If the parents aren't taking an interest, the child may not either.

Next thing is vacation time. Summer breaks seem great for kids, but they are really bad for advancing their reading skills and academic abilities. Look at U.S. school terms they're 180 days right? Check out Japan's term: 243 days. South Korea's? About 220 days. And guess what, these countries are kicking our ass in math and overall education. And guess what? Studies show that reading skills drop drastically over the summer months in homes where parents don't have their child in camps, sports, reading clubs, etc. Poorer families can't afford shuttling their kids to a dozen summer activities - they have to work. But stimulating your child's mind during vacation, summer breaks, etc helps influence their success in school.

IThird (Yep, there's more) This one's simple. Teach your kids good work ethic. Kids who work harder, are more successful. In fact, scientists no longer believe in "talent" because most people start out with roughly the same "talent" or level, and it is the amount of time they put into their efforts. Think about that 10,000 rule. Those are the professional cellists, ballerinas, etc. People who put in 5-8,000 hours, they might be ok, but they'll probably end up teaching instead of professionally playing. And the ones who put in around 3-5,000 hours - it's a hobby and probably not something they will end up pursuing.

Finally, middle-upper class parents usually encourage their children to pursue their hobbies. If the kid likes to sing - they get voice lessons. They see this as an opportunity for something real. Lower income families usually treat these interests as mere hobbies and "cute" but not something viable that the child could actually do for real. So find out what your kids enjoy, and encourage it in any way possible. You might have the next Mozart under your roof.

So parents - read this book and start your kids off right. Some things you can't change, but science, statistics, and studies show that you can at least help give them a better chance. Oh - and IQ doesn't matter really. If your kid has an IQ over 130, they're smart. IQ of 100-129 is average, but good. So don't sweat it too much. It's what you teach your kids that matters. :)

The Stormy Moors of...Kansas?

Someone please check the calendar because it doesn't seem like August in Kansas. Heck, it doesn't even seem like Kansas! This is mostly because the 100 mph winds combined with a major thunderstorm doesn't exactly happen here - at least as I recall. Either we get tornadoes, or thunderstorms, and not at the same time. The last time I saw something like this, I was in Scotland in May.  Kansas is essentially behaving like Scotland right now, except with more sunny stuff in between.

But I have decided that I must be pretty immune to this type of weather, because my mother stared at the weather radar on her iPad - willing the storm to move I suppose - my father shined the flashlight in everyone's face, and my brother rushed around looking for battery packs. I, however, sat comfortably on a stool and continued playing around on Pottermore. This is a big deal, actually, because the next 5 chapters are open. :)

And watching the trees bend, the foggy mist mix with the heavy rain, hearing the wind rattle the house and slip under the garage door, etc - I realized that maybe the Bronte sisters went through this. Maybe a person had to go through something like this to explain a storm: a real storm. I considered the possibility that I should re-read Wuthering Heights to see if I could like it any better. I rejected this idea when the power went out and I took it as a sign.

I guess the point of this post is: I have  a few points:

1. If you live through a bad storm that seems terrifying - you should be able to write about such things now.
2. I should move to Scotland...or England. Maybe Wales....not Wales.
3. I now fully understand why a young girl could get lost on the Moors, during a storm in Victorian Gothic fiction*.

*Victorian Gothic is a literary time period where people did not wear all black clothing, listen to death metal, or wear weird contacts.

Screw It - Let's Talk About the Doctor

Ok, so I know that this blog started out with great intentions of not being a typical "blog" where I talk about myself and feelings and sh**. But after taking a hiatus that seemed never ending, after life got in the way, I decided to pick this back up and write with a new-found purpose.

Where have I been you ask? In a nutshell - working. I'm always working on something. Except for those lovely Saturdays where I don't care about what anyone thinks (myself included), and I will watch a whole BBC TV Series in one sitting. Such were the events of this past Saturday, and you should all get on Netflix ASAP and watch Ripper Street. Brilliant.

Right now I'm excited. Giddy. This is better than Christmas, and I cannot WAIT until Christmas because the identity of the 12th Doctor is Peter Capaldi.

If you have no idea who Peter Capaldi is, check link this out, then pop back here:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ailbhemalone/reasons-to-love-peter-capaldi

You're back? Great. Now, folks, if you have never heard of the Doctor or Doctor Who, you simply must acquaint yourself with such terms. First, Doctor Who is the longest running TV Series on the BBC. It's a kids show, which means it's family friendly! And it's all about time travel, history, the future, aliens, saving the world, being clever over being brute, and it has some lovely drama and fun stuff for the parents too! Essentially, it's fun for everyone, and may I say, very well done. In fact, it should not be called a "kids show" because it plays like an action adventure movie! How can you beat that?

But back to the Mr. Capaldi, who seems to be getting some heat over being chosen as the next doctor. First of all, he's 55 years old, which is considerably older than the other actors playing the Doctor. This causes a dilemma for the teen fan girls who are still in love with David Tennant and Matt Smith (young-ish actors to play the role). But really, the first actor to play the Doctor was 55, and many of the previous Doctors were no spring chickens. So ladies - keep it together and just swoon over Benedict Cumberbatch for now.

But really, did anyone watch the announcement on BBC America? Capaldi was great! He embodies the Doctor, and as the writer Steven Moffat has explained - the Doctor is the same character who simply takes over different forms. So no matter what, Capaldi will not play "Capaldi's version of the Doctor" but rather, will be a new face, have new adventures as the Doctor. These are very different things, I assure you.

But Whovians everywhere are setting their clocks for the 50th Anniversary Special on Christmas Day. We can't wait for Rose and 10 to unite with 11 and meet 12. It will be magical. It will probably be better than Christmas. So mum, please understand that I will probably be home for Christmas, but if we don't have BBC America on the cable - I'm renting a hotel for the day. :)

So that's it for today - happy reading everybody!

A Bit More Tolkien Magic

Ok, so I started writing this post because I wanted to gush about my spiritual bond with Tina Fey. Then I realized that everyone loves Tina Fey, always say great things about her, and my post would be nothing different. So I scratched that (even though Tina Fey is the greatest person of all time and I adore her).

Instead, I received the inspiration for today's post from my younger brother, who is often infuriatingly inspiring sometimes. Darn him to heck. (I think that's quote from the Dilbert comic strip, but I can't be sure.) But my brother is one of those people who reads only certain books, at certain times, when he feels like it. Which is, like, two books, twice a year, and only when he doesn't have an Xbox game to level up on. Seriously, I couldn't even get him to read Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five. I even used the words, "science fiction," "time travel,""WWII," and "dark humor." My sales pitch didn't work. Instead, my brother wandered a couple aisles down the green Hastings carpet to a different set of books from which I could barely drag him away. More on that later.

Despite my description, my brother has done a bit of reading, and in fact,  he has a favorite book. If you asked me to pick a favorite book, a look of terror would shoot across my face, because I literally, couldn't give you an answer. My brother, on the other hand, could tell you, without hesitation, that his favorite book is J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit. He's read it more times than I can count. He owns at least three copies of it. Yesterday he bought the new Hobbit movie on Blu-Ray - the special edition. We've watched it twice since then. He saw it multiple times in theater. He plays LOTR video games. And that mesmerizing aisle in Hastings? A whole section dedicated to Tolkien books. That's like, five shelves worth. But he loves it! He hates to read Shakespeare, but this is his thing, so I'm going with it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Tolkien's books too. (In fact, I read them before my brother -Ha!) But even though my brother loves these books, he hasn't read all of them. That's why I want to tell you about Roverandom.You're probably thinking - WAIT! Tolkien only wrote stories about Middle Earth right? He wrote about hobbits and elves and wizards. What the heck is Roverandom?

I'm so glad you asked. Roverandom is a lesser known children's story that Tolkien wrote after the Hobbit, but it wasn't made available until 1998. It's also a novella, which means it's not quite a novel, and not quite a short story. So it's perfect for a child's bedtime, or for a nice, quiet read at home. And don't worry, wizards and magic make an appearance in this story - but the main character is Rover. Rover is a nice little dog who travels to the moon and under the sea, and has many adventures. There are also things called "moon-dragons," but you'll have to read the story to find out more.  (Here's the part where you abruptly leave my blog and rush to your local library.)

Or you can purchase it here on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Roverandom-J-R-R-Tolkien/dp/0395957990/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363995900&sr=8-1&keywords=roverandom

My brother still loves hobbits and wizards and such, so he will never say this book is better than the Hobbit. But really, if you like Tolkien, wizards, puppies, and a good adventure story. Please, I beg you, buy this book. Read it to your children. Read it for yourself. Treat your kids to a bit more Tolkien magic -and rekindle your own sense of wonder and imagination.

Cheerio my darlings,

Verity

Timberlake

These past few weeks, all I've heard about is Justin Timberlake's new album 20/20. Seriously, the guy is everywhere. He spent a week on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, hosted SNL for the 5th time, gave a huge album release party, and naturally, the ads promoting his new songs are plastered all over YouTube. JT knows how to release an album. Seriously, even I'm considering buying it.

BUT WAIT! Why do we love this guy so much? I mean, it's not like all his songs are super awesome or anything. Granted, I've never been a huge Justin fan, but I can't believe that the average person knows more than five of his songs. Off the top of my head, these are the only songs sung by JT that I know:
1) Sexy Back
2) Suit and Tie
3) Some random N'SNYC song that I've probably forgotten in the last ten years
4) What Goes Around...Comes Back Around

That's it. And I had to look up the name of #4. I own every song the Beatles ever sang (I think), and five of them are in German. I mean, have you looked at the lyrics to their songs? Not the music, the lyrics. Each song is a mini story, or poem, or even a psychedelic blur that doesn't make sense, but they're all pretty much music gold. All I know about JT is that he's a modern day sex symbol. Ten years ago, he looked like this:

This tan sweatered, pinky ringed, blond highlighted, permed, former boy band member is now this:

Amazing what a couple decades can do.

But back to my original point - do we really know him for his music? I don't. I know him as the guy who sings the History of Rap with Jimmy Fallon. He's the guy who play opposite Andy Samberg in short films like D*** In a Box. He's that actor who shows up in B movies like Bad Teacher, or Oscar winning films like The Social Network. He's the Sexiest Man Alive, according to assorted magazines. He's that guy who married Jessica Biel. He's funny. He's talented. But his music? So far, I'm not a huge fan. But this new album has hope. It's new. Has at least one hit - maybe more. Let's just hope the content is there this time.

So today's tip: Remember folks, presentation isn't everything - the music and the lyrics have to be there too. Same goes for writers - quit worrying about the dust cover photo and write something meaningful. 

Cheerio my darlings,

Verity

Pilot

Ok, so this is my first post, and you, whoever you are, are probably wondering why another average person is writing another average blog about the boring crap they do everyday. I am not such an individual. But with this first post, I'm going to introduce myself and tell you what to expect from this blog.

So let's talk about me. First, here's my "resume." I'm from Kansas. I studied English - Creative Writing, German and Pre-Law for my undergraduate degree, and now I'm in law school. I've worked at a landscape company, a hardware store, and a law office. Boooring. Now for the fun stuff.

I love anything to do with entertainment. Seriously. Books, television, film, theater, stand-up comedy, art museums, history museums, board games, video games - I love it all. Need I say more? However, there are things I really don't care for. I hate horror films. Can't watch them. I've never read a comic book. Don't get me wrong, I'm open to it and I love superheroes, but just so you know... I love critiquing and writing fiction and poetry in my spare time. I currently have a book and a screenplay in the works, but both are on hold while in law school. And because Hemingway encouraged writers to write a page a day, here I am.

That's all you need to know about me right now, because I believe you'll learn a lot more about me through my future posts, whether I want you to or not. But what am I going to talk about? That's easy.

First, I'm going to talk writing tips - anything for creative writing, technique tips, editing and grammar help, etc. I'm also going to post links, pictures, videos, etc that I find inspirational or great examples of story, theme, character, plot, dialogue, and so on. Seriously, anything I'm interested in that has to do with writing I'll talk about. And that is literally everything.

Second, if something interesting happens (or has happened) in my life that might fall into any of the above categories - I'll talk about it.

Finally, I hope to give you snippets of my own writing  - descriptions, mini stories, and such - to entertain or something. 

And there you have it! All these delightfully vague descriptions of future posts will hopefully mature into fully round and detailed writings that will capture your attention long enough to distract you from reality TV. Oh, and about that - hate reality TV. Absolutely hate it.

Cheerio my darlings,

Verity